"Hello, My Name is Doris"
Reviewed by Joy Ramos Davis

Synopsis: After attending a self-help seminar on empowerment, Doris meets her new co-worker, a handsome 20-something named John Fremont.  Fully smitten, she devises ways to get to know him romantically.  Doris prefers to live in fantasy, wishing that John would feel the same way, even though there is a huge age difference between them.  She also struggles with letting go of her past by hoarding.  John invites Doris into his circle of friends where she assumes it's the start of a budding romance.  This only leaves her best friend Roz intent on bringing her back to reality for fear of Doris getting hurt from unrequited love.

Warning: Contains Spoilers

 Breaking the Cycle of Co-Dependency

After the recent death of Doris' mother, she no longer had to play the dutiful role of the live-in caregiver for most of her adult life.  When her best friend Roz takes her to a self-help seminar, she felt empowered and followed the instructor's exercise to do mantras daily. 

By repeatedly saying the empowering words of "I'm possible" and "You are perfect, inside and out,"  Doris invested in greater possibilities for her life.  There was a readiness growing within her to break free from years of sacrifice. 

According to Chuck Spezzano, developer of the Psychology of Vision, he explains that the roles we play can lead to tiredness and burnout because a role is a place where we give but cannot receive.  He recommends that you look at the role you're playing to see if you are giving out of your own choice.  Just by choosing to give, you can totally correct the situation.

Fantasy Better Than Reality

Doris was smitten after meeting her new 20-something co-worker, John Fremont.  She felt immediate attraction, weaving great fantasies to be with him romantically and orchestrating coincidental meetings.  She clung to the possibility that John would want to be with her, a 60-something spinster.  Her love interest quickly became an obsession.

As a socially awkward, shy and sheltered woman, Doris would retreat to her imaginary world.  Fantasies are a form of expectation with a demand underneath that, teaches self-help expert, Chuck Spezzano.  A fantasy says that this is the way it would be if my needs were met.  It's also a block to receiving.  When Doris can let go of the fantasy, she'll find herself receiving more.

Hoarding

Living alone in the home where she was raised, Doris' brother and sister-in-law urged her to sell the property and let go of the many, many belongings within it.  She took it as an emotional threat.  It was a painful task to give up any item of sentimental value.

It's not clear whether Doris is a typical clutterer or pathological hoarder that is only 1% of the population.  Both tendencies are rooted in low self-esteem.  Holistic Psychotherapist Dr. Amelia Kemp recognizes that hoarding is a misaligned thought where someone believes that well-being is fleeting, which causes tremendous discomfort with uncertainty.  The energy of hoarding can block the very well-being that they seek.  Abundance is really meant to flow in and out of our lives.  All the security and assurance needed can be found within.

Clearing Emotional Clutter

With the help of Vivian, the teenage granddaughter of her best friend Roz, Doris was able to log into Facebook and create an online account, hoping to friend John.  She eagerly read John's posts to learn about his interest in EDM music.  Armed with this knowledge, Doris devised a plan to attend an upcoming concert of his favorite band, "Baby Goya & The Nuclear Winters," knowing that he's likely to be there.

Dressed up in 80's style neon clothing, Doris had a fabulous time with John, riding on his shoulders and swaying to the music.  He included her in his diverse circle of friends.  Even the band leader found Doris to be a true original, asking if she would model for his next album called "Fresh Vintage." 

Despite generational differences, Doris immersed herself in the interests of the Millennial generation who were born between the years of 1982 and 2000.  They are technically savvy, well-educated, inclusive in a compassionate way, and liberal progressives that were empowered growing up to do great things in this world.

Whenever Roz insisted that Doris stop fawning over a young man, she refused to listen by throwing caution to the wind.  Roz was just too close-minded and not accepting of outsiders.    

An expert on clearing emotional clutter, Donald Altman suggests that it's time for a lifestyle reboot when you feel like you are stuck in old, habitual patterns.  Doris did that by expanding her tribe.  She was opening up to belonging to a different group of like-minded, open and compassionate individuals. 

Unrequited Love

Instead of celebrating Thanksgiving with her best friend, Doris broke tradition to attend another gathering with John and his circle of friends.  This left Roz feeling abandoned and infuriated. 

At the party, Doris helped herself to too much wine.  She drunkenly confessed to John in his bedroom about her love interest in him and contributed to his harsh breakup with a pretty young lady.  He was shocked by all the news and unwilling to reciprocate any romantic feelings towards Doris.

Living in fantasy and being emotionally obsessive are the hallmarks of someone under the spell of unrequited love.  It comes down to being an addiction because you can get lost in the feeling of longing and easily mistake it for love.  By making John her object of worship, Doris gave away her personal power.  This is easy to do when you don't feel whole inside.

After the rude awakening, this propelled Doris to move forward with her life.  She was finally able to let go of what no longer served her, from the house full of memorabilia to her old job, including John. 

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